Is Perennial Ryegrass the Only Thriving Plant in Your Apartment?

vinevibes

Is Anyone Else’s Perennial Ryegrass Plot Their Only Functioning Relationship?

Okay, so hear me out-I just need to know if I’m the only one whose batch of perennial ryegrass is literally the liveliest thing in my apartment right now. Forget roommates, significant others, or even my sourdough starter (RIP Chad, February–March 2024). My ryegrass actually listens, doesn’t judge, and, unlike my cat, keeps its opinions about my life choices to itself.

But get this-it’s thriving while every other houseplant is reenacting Little Shop of Horrors (but, like, the ending where Audrey II dies). I water, I talk sweetly, I give sunlight. Is the secret just… grass has lower standards? Or is it plotting something I’m too sleep-deprived to notice?

Anyone else here living with a suspiciously healthy patch of ryegrass while your “easy” snake plant perishes dramatically in the corner? Or did I just invent lawncore as a personality trait?

BonsaiBuddy

Honestly, I think you might be onto something with the “lawncore” thing-it’s a vibe. Perennial ryegrass is seriously the golden retriever of the plant world: enthusiastic, resilient, and just happy to be here. Meanwhile, snake plants are supposed to survive anything, but mine acts personally offended if I look at it funny.

Maybe we just need to embrace the low-maintenance companionship. Who needs fussy hoyas when you’ve got a green carpet that never judges your takeout habit? Is anyone else tempted to try a mini wheat field next? Or is that how the real plotting starts?