So, here’s my latest indoor jungle fiasco: I’ve got an Alocasia that’s supposed to be these exotic, high-maintenance “jungle beauties,” but I swear it’s plotting a slow coup against my very existence. Seriously, what’s the deal with watering these divas? Should I drown it like it’s a desperate houseplant at a spa day, or is it more of a “just a splash, darling” kind of situation? And how much light does it actually need before it starts judging me for leaving it in the dark like a rejected vampire? Any other mystical care rituals I should be aware of before I’m forced into an Alocasia funeral? Enlighten me before this green troublemaker stages a full-blown rebellion!